Silence.

Silence. Some people say its a virtue. There are many kinds of silence. Awkward silence, the still silence of nature, silence after someone has yelled. Then there is me. Here. when left with myself my mind tends to wander places. Then my thoughts are interrupted by noise coming from down stairs. it stops. Once again i sit in silence, until my mind starts to drift and thoughts of nothingness are running through my head.
i feel a cool breeze. It shivers down my spine, each vertebrae contracting as the cold sensation reaches it. The street ahead of me is long and lined with leaves. Silence. The road is still and each step i take, i take with the ut-most caution for fear that i would disturb nature. i walk a little farther until i reach a dead end in the road. Not wanting to turn back i look around. I spot a crack between two buildings. i squeeze my way through them but soon realize the crack is getting tighter and i can no longer fit. I back out and stand at the dead end. I feel lost and with only silence surrounding me, i feeling more alone than ever.
I walk back to the main street. i hop on the first bus that comes. i sit. its early. the bus driver and i drive is silence with only the hum of the engine as our conversation. The bus stops at various stops. No one comes on. The bus continues to choose its stops, me just sitting along for the ride. i stand up to exit the bis. The doors stay closed. I look at the bus driver. He shakes his head but says nothing. I feel my knees buckle beneath me. My body week. Tears blur my vision. And just like in a nightmare, the feeling that I'm falling off a cliff consumes my body.
I wake. Me, just me. Sitting alone in my room. I get up. Everymorning i make the choice to get up and be okay. To smile because ir will make them feel that they are doing whats best for everyone. Pretend that the strings attachted to me are fine. That i am fine. I choose to be silent and to silence any words that should've been, could've been but will never be.
Silence. Some people say its a virtue, others a curse.